Sex columnists make it all seem so easy
Curve magazine's February "sex! sex! sex!" issue is mostly about the lack thereof. The month's Dyke Drama column is penned by Michele Fisher, who makes satisfying sport of that hoary "lesbian bed death" study of the '80s. "These so-called 'experts' asserted that lesbian couples have the least amount of sex of all when compared to gay male couples and straight couples... by the time a lesbian couple celebrates three years together, they're having sex twice a year." Fisher makes fun, but her stiletto sinks through the heart: too many lesbians, she claims, do "marry" their best friends, wrongly giving up desire for comfort. Fisher also believes that you cannot make yourself want someone. And her analysis presumes monogamy. On the other hand, the bisexual agony aunt Sasha, a syndicated sex columnist, notes (Jan. 6 Montreal Mirror) that she has less of a sex drive than does her partner. "I am the one who turns off and still proclaims love, whose lack of consistent desire 'makes' someone feel like shit, who ends up with the sniveling runny-nosed partner begging for it in such a way that compounds my indifference." Sasha chose non-monogamy as a solution, and demands that others choose it, as well. Both women refuse to allow alternatives to the sex thing. Sex? No sex? It's a more complex discussion, no?