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Posted by eleanor

Death on TV

A tragic story on the TV talk show Oprah yesterday: vacationing American Nate Berkus lost his partner, Fernando Bengoechea, during the tsunami. Berkus felt his lover's hand losing its grip on the back of his shirt, and Bengoechea was gone. Truly horrible, and our hearts go out to him. (The good will of thousands of mainstream viewers also puts to rest the lie that all Americans are bigots).

But the heart and the brain are two different organs. I can feel for Berkus, but still be critical of him. He also said: "I was spared for a reason." I know that we need desperately to create grand narratives for ourselves in order to save our sanity in the face of horror. But there is no such thing as fate. Nate, God did not look down at you and decide that you were more important than anyone else. Think that through and you'll see how offensive it is to say that the tens of thousands of others who died somehow did not deserve to live as much as you do.

Comments

# re: Death on TV
January 20, 2005 1:05 PM
Well, I don't know that I believe in FATE all that much either, however, it seems that in my experience that things often have curious coincidences. I'll cite just one recent example in my life. When my partner & I both suddenly fell ill at the same time a few years ago, was it fate that had lead to her sisters decision, taken a week earlier, to take a month off work... just enough time to take care of us both? I know that when these coincidences occur surrounding death we are perhaps more likely to attribute them to some God.... but how can you be so sure that "there is no such thing as fate"? Sure you don't want to believe that a God would tend to think one of us is better or at least better equiped to deal with the aftermath. I don't believe that... at least I don't want to. But Fate or something like it? I don't know if I can dismiss it like that.
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