On the Revenge of the Sith

If you can emotionally connect with a bunch of guys swinging light sabres about, see Star Wars: Episode III. It's a boys' movie filled with violence, stilted dialogue, and the endless good-versus-evil slashfest. And not a single one-liner to be found to relieve Hayden Christensen's agonized I'm-a good-man-turning-into-David-Prowse scowl. I liked it. But only because I was able to completely disassociate from The Girl (Natalie Portman)... meaning Padme, Anakin Skywalker-slash-Darth Vader's chickie.

Reviewer Kimi Eisele got it perfectly: "[T]he single female character in the film was nothing more than a weepy girl, distressed and overdressed....

"Padme reminded me of all those disconnected and discarded mothers and wives of 19th century literature. Hester Prynne, Madame Bovary, and Charlotte Perkins Gilman's famed (and unnamed) protagonist in 'The Yellow Wallpaper.'

"These women were bored, isolated, and stuck in society's limited expectations of them and much of their purpose and meaning depended on their husbands or fathers. Trapped and insignificant, it seemed the only power they had was to take their own lives -- which they often did.

"Despite the futuristic age in which she lives, things aren't much brighter for Padme, whose pregnancy renders her oddly helpless. Though supposedly a member of the Galactic Senate, she does little more than sit listlessly in an oversized living room watching the passing hovercraft and the multiple sunsets, waiting for her belly to grow and for Anakin to come home. The only thing that changes are her outfits." Star Wars reprises mythological archetypes, and Woman gets pregnant and ensures the future. That's it.