Be afraid, be very afraid

As you know, your humble servant is good with spending five hours in nice long line-ups. Really. It says so right here.

And good thing, too, since that's what attending a taping of Canadian Antiques Roadshow is all about: Obediently standing in line after line ("You said go slow -- I fall behind. The second hand unwinds--".)

But this is not a tale of waiting. No, because Canadian Antiques Roadshow -- broadcast Thursday nights -- is really about paranoia. Not smart safety, but about actual eye-bugging hysterical fear. "No one at the Roadshow is authorized to buy or sell any antiques brought for evaluation and we advise you not to discuss your items with other visitors."

That's right, come out one afternoon in May (as I did -- but I won't tell you what city, you slimy thief) and regard your neighbours with state-sponsored suspicion. More from the handout: "In your own interest, we advise you not to reveal your name or address to other members of the public or press. You are responsible for the safe keeping of your possessions in transit to and within the event and we advise you not to part with your valuables to anyone except authorized Roadshow staff (wearing Roadshow ID).... Please do not leave any articles unattended....

"Members of the local police force are present...."

Ah, the CBC, our national broadcaster. Bringing people together through a shared culture of distrust.