She likes us, she really likes us!

My stars and garters, professional right-winger and queer hate-monger Babs Amiel has come out in favour of gay marriage. The world is just topsy-turvy.

"Sir Elton John married his Canadian sweetheart David Furnish just before Christmas and yes, I wish I had been there. Elton wasn't singing but I'd like to have heard that cocoa baritone voice reciting his vows," writes Her Nibs. The two men were civilly unioned, to be precise, not legally wedded.

Barbara Amiel's argument is a conservative one, of course: monogamous nuptials good. "Canada has gone all the way by making same-sex marriages legal. Good for us. Human beings are a pair-bonding species and I'm at a loss as to why any liberal society would want to deny the expression of pair-bonding instincts in homosexuals. Apart from the old 'Who is the Mrs.?' sort of jibe, there are very few legitimate reasons to oppose same-sex marriage. (And, incidentally, anyone who has ever shaken hands with Elton will know who isn't the Mrs. in his family. The man has the grip of a sumo wrestler.)"

All this blather to reveal, again, a simple earnest truth: coming out does change the people around us. Else goofs like Amiel might never have reconsidered their public dislike of homosexuality.

Amiel's history shows her to be a feminist of long standing, though she'd not call herself that (too much controlling socialist claptrap associated with the label). But in the 1960s, when Amiel came of age, women were secretaries.

Amiel was first cover girl for Toronto Life, "a budding television personality," wrote editor John Macfarlane in the magazine's 30th anniversary ish of November 1996. "Having talked her way into a job as a secretary at the CBC, fresh out of university, she was now the co-host of a supper-hour television show called 'TBA.' But it was in print that she would eventually make her name, becoming a columnist at Maclean's and then editor-in-chief of the Toronto Sun." That was in 1983 (according to Jean Sonmor's book, "The Little Paper That Grew").

I'll let you imagine the sort of garbage that the editorial pages ran about homos back then; the paper is infamous for its queer hate campaigns of old. From "The Little Paper That Grew": As a writer, "the arch tone and the playful self-deprecation were carefully woven into an argument that always made enjoyable reading, even if the idea and the lack of attention to the facts enraged the reader." Amiel was also, noted an editor, "the most loved of all the Sun's columnists," and bold enough to say what people were too afraid to blurt out loud.

I can't find it now, but I recall the Amiel column that was a gay turning point, dating from the late 1990s: a friend of hers, a gay man, it turned out, died of AIDS. Amiel wrote about the loss. (Revision: coming out is good, but dieing tragically is better.)

From Amiel's January Maclean's column: "Some opponents of same-sex unions might revise their views if they could see close-up the degree of care between many homosexual partners. The anatomy may be different but the emotional life and division of roles are pretty much the same. Elton has a way of making everyone around him feel completely safe. David is the first to worry about whether Elton is chilly as night settles over an alfresco supper.

"Most of us know same-sex unions that have weathered thick and thin through decades including the tough sledding of AIDS. What complicates our species is that we are pair-bonding philanderers rather than monogamous storks. The gay community does have the capacity for some pretty heavy philandering before settling down to the level of fidelity necessary to maintain a marriage -- which raises concerns among the more sexually plodding.

"If you want to protect the institution of marriage, denying it to same-sex couples makes precious little sense and with today's assault on the family unit, it may even do some harm. Heterosexuals have done a rotten job of defending the family's autonomy. I wish no cloud on any union, but I can wager one thing: efforts like that of the U.K.'s Tony Blair to force on the family, inter alia, mandatory counselling before marriage, mandatory reconciliation tribunals before divorce and legally binding Home-School Agreements governing behaviour to be signed by parents and children would be as a candle in the wind with the gay community. They've had to organize for their rights and if we're very lucky, now they'll organize for ours."

By the by, I am guilty of not reading the new Maclean's, as remade by editor Ken Whyte, whose National Post was actually quite a fun (and infuriating) read. Whyte's another rightie who yet does employ smarty homosexuals (will ex National Post hire Mitchel Raphael, who just stepped down as Fab Magazine editor, end up at Macleans? Hint, hint, Kenny). Anyway, all this to say that ignoring Canada's national newsmagazine is an admittedly bad habit, and to note that the pointer to the Amiel tidbit comes via a new blog by Ottawa's Ariel Troster, who has charmed her way in here by sending an e-mail saying she reads Oples.

Lordy, but I'm easy. Find Dykes Against Harper here.