Relishing the sin of Pride
written in June 2003
Some are jubilant about Pride Day. Sharing in the breath-taking knowledge that we are all connected, partners in crime and in celebration. Others are whiners, always wanting to see the bad side of everything.
The latest complaint, rising now to a high-pitched ululating screech, is that Pride Day is too commercial.
There's ads everywhere, there's official bottled water and official ice cream and official suntan lotion and official tampons. Pride is one big ad-infested swamp, grouch the naysayers through snarled lips.
I have the perfect riposte: So what?
So what if there's advertising on Pride? So what if there's a big sign saying buy Biggie Beer, or shop at Zoot's Suits, LLC?
For too long, we have been told what we are not allowed to do. Until 1969 -- within living memory! -- it was illegal for men to have sex together. Women were arrested for dancing together, and charged with committing an indecent act.
We couldn't even have sex in our own bedrooms. In 1981, a plainclothes police officer arrested a Toronto teacher who had run a classified ad looking for dates. The police and the prosecutor argued that that made the man’s bedroom a public place. A judge acquitted -- but the poor guy was dragged through the mud.
There's still quite the list of modern can'ts.
- Can't read books banned at the border: Vancouver's Little Sister's won its case at the Supreme Court and Canada, and nothing's changed with Canada Customs. They're being forced to start all over again.
- A school board in British Columbia debated whether to allow the supremely inoffensive Heather Has Two Mommies into the classroom. Once that one was won in court, they kept at it: in May 2006, a district staffer refused a gay fairy tale for grade three kids
- Cops still, every so often, raid gay strip clubs (in Montreal) and bathhouses (in Calgary).
In short, being gay or lesbian is partly about dealing with what we're not allowed to do. About fighting their morality. About pushing for the little freedoms that heterosexuals take for granted.
I've had enough about being told what's bad for me.
Pride is about community. It’s about letting go of how we think others should act, about giving up control over others (unless she's been a very, very bad girl). It’s about accepting that we're all different, even as there's something that’s the same, that brings us together.
In this understanding and vision of diversity, the presence of advertising is no big whoop. Ads do not diminish my sense of self nor my ability to have fun. People who demand that Pride be done their way or no way blend in to that generic chorus of people who feel the need to tell me how to have fun.
Pride is about the big issues -- the getting together, the bonding. But it is also about the very little. About making one new friend, about finding a gang of pals and hanging out together. Pride is about me.
No ad for Nike is going to change that -- I am not a zombie unable to control myself when faced with advertising. No matter what the perpetual complainer obsessed with finding fault may think.
To that whiner, I say: Steal this Pride Day. Take it; it's yours. Pride Day is what you make of it.